Post by Alexa Raven on Dec 23, 2013 3:02:28 GMT -5
Title: Immortal Beloved
Rating: R, possible NC-17 in later chapters
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairings: Jack/Ianto Tenth/Rose
Type: Alternate Universe
Spoilers/Warnings : Slash, same sex pairing. Sexual situations, coarse language. Reader discretion is advised. You have been warned!
Disclaimers: Everything is copyrighted to the BBC. Nothing belongs to me except the situation I put them into. All images used in this fiction, were made by myself, Alexaviera Raven.
Author's Note:
This chapter is going to be really angst. Sorry in advance but it needs to be written. For more information on my feelings of the characters etc go and look at the thread for Chapter notes. You might be interested to note I am writing a editorial etc for each chapter there too.
Please enjoy and feel free to comment. Thank you and blessed be!
Chapter Five
Cardiff, Wales, Earth
Jack sat in a holding cell. As he did he thought about the events the day before. Ianto was dead. Died because of him. It was his fault. His arrogance and provocation of the 456 had instrumented in his lovers death. Jack was dead inside. He was in great pain and anguish.
As he sat there he thought about how he would do things differently if he could. At least while sitting in this cell as he was he had secured the freedom of his daughter called Alice and that of his Grandson Stephen. They had been taken the day before and after everything in Thames house had gone tits over arse, he surrendered himself in the exchange for their freedom. For Gwen's as well. She was now back in Cardiff with Rhys and safe at least he hoped she would be. He couldn't look at her anymore and it made him sick because he knew..
He had fucked up and gotten people killed. He was a fucking monster. The Doctor had been right he was so wrong..
Jack felt lost now. His life nothing but tatters coning undone at the seams. He wanted to die, to join Ianto in the afterlife. He wanted to stay dead. Spend the rest of eternity in Ianto Jones' arms and not give a damn if they were just in the darkness of death. As long as Ianto was there with him he could face anything.
In all of his immortal lifetimes he never felt the loss of a loved one as greatly as he was feeling Ianto's passing. Beautiful loyal Ianto by his side as they entered the Thames house. By his side armed prepared to go out in a blaze of glory that was intended for a hero.
"Not like this."
He whispered as the images seemed to burn behind his closed eyes. Ianto was a brave man one who deserved to go down fighting not to die because of a alien virus. Not Ianto, not him.. His brave Welshman his strong lover. His Ianto. His love. The man he wanted to spend the rest time with. The rest of Ianto's time at least not his own, of course not.. It was bitterness now that filled Jack as he thought about Ianto.
Ianto was his hero and his everything..
In his coat he had a silver and black velvet box inside lay the matching rings and for a moment he just opened it and sighed. Tears ran down his face as he looked at the inscription.
"My world, my light, my heart."
Jack was now kicking himself because he had not given Ianto the ring, had not told him in his dying breaths how he felt about him. Jack could not get the words out even when Ianto had confessed his love for him. Even then he wanted to say it. He knew he should have said it. But he was so in denial that it was happening. Denial that Ianto would not be there to hold him when he came back from the dead. His Ianto's strong arms holding and soothing him. How could he continue on now without his heart? That was what Ianto was for Jack, his heart and not just his but the heart of Torchwood also.
He removed the ring he knew would bind them together as partners and slipped it on a moment. The pain coursing through him as he looked down at his left hand and to the ring on his third finger. He began to cry now sobbing. Ianto would have been very surprised. Ianto would have been very happy, Jack knew that also.
He wiped at his eyes furiously now as he knew it didn't help crying. What he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and lay there unmoving for the rest of time. But he knew also he had a job to do. Children to save and wasn't too surprised when the door to the cell opened and he was let free. After all the Earth still needed their champion didn't they? Still needed him.
Though he wished he could tell the government to go to hell because they were as evil in his eyes as the 456 were being. They used him over and over and over again. He was the negotiator in the end, the amazing Captain Jack Harkness who could not stay dead... The man who lost his soul mate, his love. His reason for wanting to live.
His Ianto with his blue eyes filled with warmth and filled his cold heart until it almost burst with sunshine.
He was let go and returned to the only home he had left. The Torchwood Hub was destroyed and as he took out a key and opened the door to a normal flat he began to look around. For a moment he had hoped he had dreamed it all. That he would hear Ianto in the kitchen.
"Hi honey I'm home."
Jack said this but it echoed in the still flat. There was no replying chuckle or Ianto walking out of the kitchen with an apron on and a mixing bowl and spatula in hand. There was no laughter as it was eerily calm. The place was in Jacks mind now a tomb. He removed his coat and threw it on the couch not caring if it was untidy to do so.
He walked to their bedroom and for a moment stood in the door jam and just looked on their bed. The bed they made love on, cuddled on and slept. The bed where they would eat breakfast sometimes and or Jack would read Ianto poetry or tell him about his past. The bed with the red silk sheets that were rumpled from the last night of passion between themselves. They had been in such a rush that first day that unlike how Ianto was he didn't even make the bed clothes up. Jack sat down on Ianto's side a moment and lifted the pillow up and hugged it.
"I love you Ianto Jones. I love you so much. Why? Why did you leave me? Why did I have to be such an idiot. You should have stayed away. I should have not let you come to Thames house. It's all my fault. Your gone and I need you but your cold and your gone. My Ianto, my love. "
Jack said this as he lay now on the bed with his knees up to his chest. The pillow in his arms and wept as hard as he knew how. He convulsed and shook in his misery as his heart began to break even further. The smell of Ianto on the pillow and on the sheets. The memories that now began to flood him as he tried to remember the good times. The first time he kissed Ianto. The first time Ianto had initiated the kiss and that night after wards. The way his lover would hold him in his arms and Jack would actually sleep with his head on Ianto's chest. He normally didn't sleep but with Ianto he was safe, comforted, loved and had happy dreams. No nightmares dare threatened him whilst Ianto was there.
He thought about what his life with Ianto could have been like. He had wanted to introduce his boyfriend to Alice and to Stephen. He knew that they would like each other. He sighed as he thought about the children. His own Grandson being affected with the rest by this alien force. He knew what he must do for at least to give Stephen a happy future.
He knew he was too late to save Ianto but he wasn't for the children of the Earth. He decided right then and there to destroy the 456 once and for all. It would have been what Ianto wanted. It was the right thing to do. But more so it was revenge, the pain in his heart closing it now as he wanted to avenge his lover, avenge all the 456 had damaged.
To avenge the damage himself had caused. It was his fault. He had negotiated with the 456 in the past, they had returned. He had provoked them. Ianto was dead and it was all his fault. They now threatened his own Grandson and for that Captain Jack Harkness would not forgive them. He would make them pay and then go and leave the Earth for awhile. To grieve his Ianto properly. To return and give up on Torchwood. To spend time with Alice and Stephen and be the kind of Father and Grandfather he should have been all along.
He knew the Doctor wouldn't come. He knew there was nothing the time Lord could do but sit back and wait and watch. This was Torchwood's mission and he himself Jack was Torchwood. It was him and him alone that could stop this. It was his fucked up destiny after all. But after this, no more. No more losing people. He vowed that he would not lose another person. That he would make damn sure he kept who he loved still close to his heart. Though he knew it would eventually end up the same as always.
In the end it was always him alone wasn't it? All around him died in the end didn't they? His heart bled for the losses he experienced and was bled dry now. Crying in his soul for Tosh, Owen and Ianto and the countless others in his past who had touched his heart enough to be mourned . Jack felt his heart begin hardening. The shell that Ianto had dropped around it now rebuilding itself. Now he could go and do what had to be done. He had to be the hero. It was his destiny. His duty, his revenge, his life. His loneliness. His curse.
Immortality fucking sucked.