Post by Alexa Raven on Feb 5, 2013 12:11:41 GMT -5
Draco raised an eyebrow as she walked past him and for a moment was going to ask what she was talking about when it hit him. He understood and nodded.
“Alright so after dinner we can do it then. Are you positive you want this Hermione? Because once we do this, there is no going back"
As Draco asked this Hermione was looking in a cupboard and turned and looked up at him.
“
Yes this is what I want I want to know what it feels like I’m ready Draco. Can you give me a few minutes and I will come up with something for us to eat. Do you mind if it’s a salad and some fruit tonight as I don’t think I can even look at meat after watching Shadow eat his supper just now.”
Hermione asked him and told him as she wrinkled her nose a moment.
Draco came over and he stood behind her and for a moment she had to take a calming breath to steady herself from his closeness. She found herself turned and his silver gray eyes burned into her cinnamon brown ones.
“Are you sure it’s alright? I mean I’m good with what we’ve been doing and I can wait a bit longer. You seem like you’re not nervous. I mean even I am a little bit and I’ve done it before Hermione.”
Hermione was to be honest a little bit surprised at his words. She wondered why he would be nervous as he had said it plainly, he had done it before.
“I trust you Draco. Why would you be nervous? I mean you’ve had sex before it’s not like you’re a virgin too and so far everything you’ve done with me has been wonderful. Why should I be nervous that this one thing will be any different?”
As Hermione asked this inside she was a bundle of nerves but she wanted this. She wanted him and her growing feelings towards Draco made her want him to do it even more. She knew she should not feel this way about Draco Malfoy but now she had realized what it was she wondered when she had begun to love this man truly. It wasn’t overnight but she wondered how long as for her to feel like this about him it had to develop over some time. Also she wondered why she hadn’t realized it before now.
Draco studied her a moment as he let her words sink in and found himself caressing her cheek before he realized what he was doing. This woman Hermione Granger surprised him a great deal. “Well it is a big deal. I mean I’m going to be your first lover. Usually women save that for the men they marry. But even if they don’t I feel a lot of pressure to make it good because after this, you’ll find yourself comparing me to all other lovers you may have. Also I’m not sure I deserve such a pure gift.”
Draco said all of this softly and for a moment Hermione could see the nervousness in his eyes and slightly hear it in his voice.
“Why?”
This was her simple response as she looked at him. She wondered why he would feel like he didn’t deserve such a pure gift as he called it. She was about to ask to for him to explain when he did and his words for a moment surprised her.
“Because I’m unclean and It should be a man who can love you. Someone you’re in love with and someone who loves you. Not a monster in a man’s skin but someone who can love. I can’t give you that.”
Hermione’s eyes fell down to his arm a moment as he too had looked down at the scar left from the dark mark. It had faded flesh color but still resembled its former symbol. For a moment neither spoke then to both their surprise Hermione for a moment touched his arm there and slowly with the pad of her fingertips traced it a moment.
“You shouldn’t its unclean and foul. Hermione what are you doing?”
As he said this he pulled his arm from her and looked at it. Hermione had leaned down and kissed along the scar and he looked at her in surprise. For a moment he just rubbed his arm.“Why?”
He asked her back shocked she would kiss the mark.
Hermione found her breath catch for a moment as she straightened back up and this time took his wrist in her hand and lifted the arm. As she did she thought.
:: Because I love you Draco, this is a part of you and I accept that. ::
However she spoke not her thoughts as she replied."Because you’re not a monster Draco no matter how much you think you are. You’re not the same man who took on a mark of a killer. You’re not a killer and you did it to try and save your mum. If anything that was very brave of you. We all have scars Draco. Some are visible and some are soul deep. We both did things in the name of war we’re both not proud of. “
As she said this she for a moment pressed her lips again to the mark and said in a strong voice“It’s a part of you Draco. I see a badge of courage. It’s a symbol of love whenever you know it or feel that way. True at the time it meant other things to other people but it meant you were protecting and loving your mum. “
Draco didn’t know how he felt as she said these words but for a moment he felt his eyes sting with tears. Her acceptance brought a wave for a moment of something he could not describe. As she lowered his arm he for a moment touched her hand as he grew quiet a moment not knowing what to say.
Finally he blurted out the following before he realized he said the words.“I threw up afterwards and Aunt Bella she gave me the Cruciatus curse. “
Hermione nodded quietly and was about to respond when he continued.
“Not when I got the dark mark but when she gave you that scar there on your arm. I threw up and she cursed me. “
As Draco said this he had lifted her arm and for a moment trailed the words with his lips as she had done for him. For a moment Hermione’s breath hitched as he caressed the words. “Mud blood” Forever tattooed in her flesh with a cursed blade. Their eyes met after a moment and Hermione found herself just looking at him.
“I consider it a badge of courage, of strength and of loyalty. I am a Muggle born Draco. I’m not ashamed to wear this scar. It’ll never fade as it was as you probably know made with a cursed blade. It burned for days afterwards. Do you find it foul and offensive Draco? “
Hermione asked this as she looked down at the words crudely carved in her skin.
“No, I don’t. It’s a part of you Hermione. We bleed the same. Red blood and a lot of blood were spilled wasn’t it? In the end however the right person won and we’re not all servants of a crazy halfbloodedpsychopath. I was raised to believe pure bloods were superior but now. I see that my Father was wrong. That if anything my blood is inferior to yours. “
As he said this he looked at her in the eyes and spoke truthfully.
Hermione was surprised by this confession and for a moment it tugged at her heart. The more she found out about this man, Draco Malfoy the more she wondered how painful it was going to be afterwards when they returned to civilization. Because if she had only suspected it before. She knew now for certain this was love. She was in love and she would not fight it anymore but allow it to fill her as long as it lasted
Hermione mentally knew this was nothing but a set up for a very painful heartbreak but she also knew she would regret not knowing what she would be missing. She even a small part of her hoped and believed that given
enough time he might even love her back.
Hermione found herself laying her head on his chest and trying for the moment to feel his touch.Draco's arms automatically came around her and they stood there silent a few minutes. Ocassionally Draco would just lay his chin on the top of her head and somehow without thinking about it too much,enjoyed the closeness they were having.
They ate dinner and when the time came both were quiet and for a moment nervous. Once however they started kissing all thoughts of anything but eachother faded and in the last bit of moonlight that was creeping from the dawn rising in the sky they became one and both were gentle and slow in their motions. Afterwards Hermione lay in Draco's arms relaxed and feeling a little sore but happy. Draco was lightly snoring a bit and she closed her eyes. "I love you Draco."
Hermione whispered this to him knowing he was asleep and smiled before starting to drift off to her own dreams.
Draco opened one eye and looked down at the woman in his arms. He just was silent as he wondered if it was real or part of the dream he had been having. For a moment he just kissed the top of her head and told himself that it wasn't love. What they had these feelings were not love. He told himself it was silly and also not possible for her to love him and what did he feel? He had no idea but it wasn't love he told himself. He couldn't love this woman who deserved much better than a monster like himself.
::What is this? I'm happy and this feeling is new. It's different and it's... no.. Please tell me this is not happening now?!? Am I in love with.. With Hermione Granger?!? No it can't be I suppose it's just true friendship that's all it has to be right?::
As his mind boggled with these thoughts he told himself it was absurd and closed his eyes and tried not to think of the woman laying asleep in his arms. He tried not to dream of the happiness that his dreams always brought him where she was his and they were very much in love.
. Look forward to reading what you have planned for them.
