Post by Alexa Raven on Jun 18, 2012 23:42:19 GMT -5
Making choices is what life is all about. Part of that is being able to make effective and informed choices. Making these decision based on the maturity level to make the good choice and the theory and logic of cause and effect. Making a chance not just effects the choice maker but also the people around them, It the choice is like a pebble dropped into the water of a small wading pond.
The pebble makes waves, those waves are like a choice in those waves are the people effected from the choice you make, Those are like the lives touched by a simple choice. Choices are to be made with responsibility of the actions and reactions.
For myself, my own advice I ignore from time to time and neglect as I know that rationally I know better. However in the heat of the moment and passion, yes passion, Passion that fuels one to make choices that aren't always wise or good.
I know I do not heed my own warnings when it comes to love. I know that is my flaw that someday will come to be my demise.
As you see, of all things in this world, I believe in love. I would gladly die for it and kill to protect it. Love is the ultimate emotion a mortal human can feel,it is the truest power that we can possess. Love is the ultimate and most true thing to happen between two people blessed to find it and create it. Those blessed to hold it and mold it, to possess that love even for a moment in time, that feeling of such pure emotion.
You cannot purchase that at a store, you can not truly recreate that in a lab, even if they can create a hormonal stimulant but that's not love. Love is willing to give up everything you ever were and become something more, Love is allowing yourself to be marked forever, to change and grow as two. Love can be a blessing or a curse depending on who you fall in love with, it can very well be an unstoppable force of emotion that sweeps one up in it's storm,never to let you out of it's spell or enchantment.
The French would die for love, they delight in fighting duels and yet,you can say a many a thing about the French people being rude and yet they seem to have in a firm grasp of understanding what love is. They know that love is eternal,that love is the greatest gift from the divine creator.
Love, true love is forever unbreakable even the jaws of death cannot break the bond, cannot break the hold .Those souls burn for another moment with their love, of those who have truly loved and loss it can be tragic. Their very essences reduced to a quivering heart longing phantom of their former selves. It is indescribable what one feels to have loved so completely and it to be gone, to be alive when your love is dead.
I would gladly die for that kind of love, I believe in all things that love is like oxygen,like the giver of life's own blood pumping through our veins. Love is the heart that sustains us in our lives. True love the kind that steals your heart and soul and fuses them with your lover, making them one will never die not even after death, not even in the hereafter. It is worth it not to love that much for a single moment than to never have it at all?
Great kings, rulers and many powerful people as well as those of the common folk, have fallen and changed due to love. A great conqueror of many nations once fell under loves spell and he himself was conquered. Love does not discriminate if you are a powerful ruler or as simple as a man who lives in a cardboard box.
When love has cast it's wicked spell on you, enraptured and enfolded you in it's grasp. Relax and let it take you on a ride, live and let live love and laugh and live cause in this life time there is but one chance to find that soul mate, that one being destined to find you and to bind you with their heart and soul forever.
Those lucky to have made that connection, to have found their other half. You know what I speak of. What I crave for with every fiber of my being. What I would give my life for, my soul burns for and aches for that divinity. And yet alas my love, the woman that I love this greatly. It's complicated as she is my enemy, She is the most forbidden of fruit and yet I crave her like a alcoholic craves whiskey, Her brown eyes the same color and when her passion is inflamed the same fire, intoxicates me more than said whiskey.
I am but a man, a breathing mortal man and yet as I look at this woman this forbidden love that I feel it inflames me, it makes me want to forsake all my rationality. In truth I have never loved before and shall never again,I know that in my heart she stole it the first time we met. I do know if it is true what I have heard, she belongs to another, he is far less worthy of her.
You may think that my admission makes me emasculated somewhat, true perhaps a bit but I do know that my love for her is pure, I feel it and know it as I know my own body, as I know my own mind. My soul burns brightly in the darkness a beacon if only she could see me like that. Though I know if I was to confess my love for her, to take the risk to make the choice to admit my love and passion for her,It could mean both our damnations.
My sweet lady fair,I would gladly suffer a thousand deaths for one kiss from her lips. I know that it would anger my Father, he is not a gentle man. He is not someone to trifle with easily. I maybe his only son and heir but even I know that he would not hesitate to hurt me or my love, so I speak not of this feeling, this discover to anyone .
She my fair love, my darling, how I dare to tell her that she is the epitome of beauty, that I see her as a Goddess that I wish to worship over and over again, That she is my own addiction.
My obsession with love all comes from her that I am suppose to hate, my greatest love from that which I was always led to believe was beneath me.
Yet it is I who is beneath her,it is I that should bow down before her and kiss her slippers, who should beg for forgiveness. I know that I do not deserve it after all I have done but I would pay the penance gladly anything to be forgiven,just to see her smile at me once would be enough to make me happy.
Oh but if I had the courage. If I had but the courage to tell her what I feel and not be afraid of the rejection, of the consequences that I would take,my sacrifice for love would I give it freely? My answer is yes though I hesitate only because she is happy with another man, I know that it would not matter to her in the least if I was not wealthy because she is above those superficial things, no I know that she is my angel,my lady fair and adored.
If only I was man enough now to tell her,perhaps I will soon as it is close to the time that she will be of age to marry,I love her and I would do anything to help her escape that fate.
I love her and I would do anything to hold her, to just feel whole for the first time in my life. If only she knew I existed at this point would make me die a happy man, Just to see her smile, her beautiful face alight with happiness and knew it was all for me,there is nothing I would not give. Even my own life..
My very soul I would sacrifice to the evil dark one if it meant to love this woman and for her to be mine.
These words were written across the computer screen as he light a cigarette and began to edit it over in his mind, The writer who felt much like the man he was writing this about. The fact that in his mind eye he too had a unrequited love and yes she was his enemy, She however knew he existed and hated him.
He knew she had good reasons to do so too and didn't blame her. He shook his head as he looked at the typed words in front of him. He wondered what he had to do to make his hero and heroine happy and together, It would in their case be easy but in his real life not so much so.
If only she could see that he wasn't what he had to pretend to be. The man he really was hidden and buried inside protecting himself as well as her. The truth remained evident in this situation he could never confess how he felt because it would be the death of him.
So alas he sat and wrote how he felt about the woman he had become enamored with, writing in essence so far his own situations and feelings letting them out in the context he was writing a story, a work of fiction.
He thought about her constantly now, it was as if her image was branded on his soul and as mad as it seemed his heart burned to see her, He felt that it was almost an obsession now as he knew when he saw her it made his heart hurt but also it seemed it made it swell and feel.
He after all this time still felt that feeling when he saw her even if it was from afar. She had of course never had a inkling to his feelings for her. No he had been very careful to not reveal his feelings knowing that it would end badly for them both if he had. So alas he would live in pain and regret as well as with a love that was unrequited and no less more intense than anything he had ever felt.
Draco rubbed his eyes as he looked back at the computer screen, it was actually an invention made by a wizard years previously. He knew that the Muggles believed that it was their invention and he just chuckled as he remembered having read that somewhere. He looked at the laptop and sipped his coffee as he let himself for a moment come back to the reality around him.
Here he was in Salem, in a cafe where he sat in a corner booth and wrote. It was a daily occurrence now as he took to writing in of all places, this Muggle establishment. He liked his coffee and they made it just right here. He knew that also he would be anonymous here. These people would not know who he was, they would not look at him as if he was scum. They would not see him as his Father's son, Nope, they noticed him occasionally but it was for a fleeting moment and nothing more.
Draco would from time to time hear some girls giggling and catch them looking over at him. In those times he would just smile but not acknowledge their presence. In a few cases they would be as bold as to come over and flirt with him.
In those times he would look at these women and shake his head and explain that he wasn't interested that he had someone. He knew this was a lie surely but in his heart it belonged to one woman in particular and was hers alone.
Draco looked back at the screen and smirked to himself as he for a moment cracked his knuckles and flexed his fingers. He relieved a little bit of tension in them as he relaxed now. He knew that he was surprised himself that when he had finished Hogwarts, he had gone off to university and had not to the displeasure of his father,gone into the family business.
Lucius had been livid that his son go and take over Malfoy industries but in the end it was Draco's decision what he wanted to do with his life. After all the years he had been pressed under Lucius's thumb and iron fist he, Draco was free and away from the man for the first time in his life.
He reveled in it. It had however came with a hefty price. He knew that he now lived life to the fullest or intended to thanks to his mother. He hated his Father and knew that he would never forgive him for what he had done when he realized that his son had wanted to be a writer instead of running the family business and becoming a dark wizard like Lucius had been himself.
He still remembered that night each detail burned inside his mind clearly as it had happened not a few years now previously but had happened in that very moment. He had his degree from Hogwarts in his hand, it was the happiest moment of his life.
He had come home from school to find his mother and father in a row. He had entered the sitting room of the Manor and froze as he watched his father strike his mother. He heard her scream as he had gone and hit his father knocking him down and glaring at him. He felt his mother trying to hold him back as she was crying, her eye blackened and lip bleeding.
"Don't touch her again Lucius"He had told his father as he turned and looked at his mother. She shook her head and in his astonishment she had walked away from him. She had turned now and walked over to Lucius who looked agape, his hair loose from his ponytail and his nose broken by the looks of it. She stared down at her husband and replied.
"Draco my son, your home. See Lucius he's here now straighten up yourself and presentable shall we? We are throwing a ball in honor of your graduation as well as announcing that you will be taking over Malfoy industries,won't that be fun?"She said in a cheer filled voice seeing to pretend that she didn't have a bloody lip or a blackened eye. Draco didn't understand why she did that,how she could even do that. Here he was defending her finally as he was able to and she seemed to let it go easily. He wondered how many times Lucius had lost his temper with her in the past and she let it go as easily.
It made Draco feel sick as he realized that over the years he had seen the signs but had been so immature and not caring he ignored them. How could he have been so selfish and not cared when here was his beautiful mother who showered her love on him, abused like that.
Draco didn't understand as he saw his father stand up flick his wand and the bruise and cut on Narcissa's face were gone, another flick and his nose was fine again. He however glared at Draco shooting him daggers before speaking. When Lucius had spoken it came out a moment as icily and cold as he could muster.
" I will do whatever it is I would like with my wife,you will understand someday when you have married and I think in future reference you should stay out of our discussions or else I will be forced to remind you the level of my displeasure. "Lucius's eyes flared a moment and he took a calming breath. The only sign that showed he was still livid was the way he clutched the top of his snake headed walking staff. Draco knew that his father would not hesitate to beat him to a bloody pulp with that walking staff, he had already done so in the past when he was still a child.
But Draco was now a man and he wondered why he had idolized this man in front of him for so long. He in that split moment of thought had decided his own future. He knew he would not be accepting the position at Malfoy industries but instead he's follow his own path and the sooner the better.
He knew that he had been accepted to a college in the America's and knew that now he would be attending it. He had heard many wonderful things about the Salem Academy of Witches and Wizards. He knew that he would get his degree in Potions as he had been encouraged to by his deceased Godfather and former head of house, Severus Snape.
He decided to break the news at dinner and Lucius had been livid, forbidding him to go and yet Draco didn't care what he had thought and told him so, in the end of the night however, Narcissa Black Malfoy lay dying at her Husbands feet and Draco was suffering from a well placed Cruciatus curse.
It had taken four aurors who had come to investigate to subdue Lucius with stunning spells before he had been subdued. Lucius was sentenced to the Dementors kiss after that and now he lay in Askaban prison there catatonic and would the rest of his life.
In a bittersweet victory, Draco had become free and he grieved of course for his mother, he had buried her in her favorite place in the whole world. A villa they owned in France on top of a hill under a tree that overlooked the home below.
He knew that his freedom had come with the cost her her life but as she lay dying she had told him that it was not his fault, she had made him promise that he would be happy, he would go and be happy and live his life to the fullest. She had in her last breath made him promise this.
So here he was in Salem Massachusetts and attending University. He had changed his name and had become an anonymous student. He had decided that he would try and put the past behind him. He was Aden Black now and he was happier than he had ever been in his whole existance. He was finally free and enjoying his life living it as his mother intended him to.
To the fullest as much as he could but always there was the one thing out of his grasp that he wanted to possess and no needed in his life. Love, he wanted and craved love with every fiber of his being, with each breath he took he craved to possess and treasure it.
Draco came out of the stupor and cloud of thought and was now back into the Coffee shop he sat in his physical sense. He looked back a moment at the keyboard and screen of the lap top in front of him and he sighed. He knew what would make him happiest, he knew of course it was she that he loved, she who owned his heart and made his soul burn.
He took a calming breath a moment and just tried to focus now. He was typing now as if a fire had possessed him, the words scrolling across the screen at a rapid pace. He stopped as he heard a familiar laugh and looked up expectantly a moment.
A few booths ahead of him he saw her, He took in the way she was smiling as she was sipping her coffee and seemed to also be typing on a laptop.
She seemed to be writing something and every now and then she would laugh to herself and there would be that beautiful smile that light up her whole face. He watched her a full minute before realizing he was staring and went back to his own typing.
Draco knew that she still was as lovely as ever. He knew that he had no more reasons not to go to her and confess his feelings for her, Lucius was in all terms dead and couldn't hurt them anymore, yet the one thing that stopped him, that steadied his revelation to her. The one thing that made him unable to act on his desires and confess them?
His voice it seemed when she was near it stopped working, the potential of rejection is what stopped him now. He knew if it had been any other woman he'd have no illusion that he'd be rejected and if he was but not bloody well likely to be.
Draco would have laughed it off and told the girl it was her loss after all. But not with this woman. How could he lay his heart bare in front of her after all that he had done in the past to her, how he had been cruel and he knew she would laugh or worse, curse him and he would deserve it.
He knew he didn't deserve her forgiveness and this is the thing that kept him from walking over there and telling her how he felt, how he couldn't get her off his mind, how he dreamed of them together. How he dreamed of their wedding and their children. No he couldn't he wouldn't and that is the thing that made him miserable.
How was he suppose to known that Hermione Granger would also have the epiphany to attend the same college he was and not only that, but share a good amount of the same classes that he himself had also attended. Draco knew that she of course would go to university but why his college, why not one closer to home?
He didn't understand it and he knew that he was dying to ask her the curiosity getting the better of him. But he did not approach her, he knew if he did she might leave and he would be even more in agony not being able to see her at all. So he kept to himself and tried to be invisible as much as possible.
Not that it was easy considering it seemed flocks of girls always tried to get his attention at all the wrong times. Like at that very moment a tall and attractive blonde witch came over to him and she noticed where he was looking. She was surprised that he would be looking at someone who was obvious to her not at all in their league. She shook her head.
"What do you want ? I'm working on a project for literature class."Draco said this in a voice that had unintentionally raised as he bit his lip a moment. He knew that the raven haired woman had a crush on him, that she was like every woman who came and hit on him, tall, beautiful and had no braincells in her head at all.
He remembered her from Hogwarts and knew that even back then he had not liked her. What did she think he'd like her now because she dressed a bit more like a tramp? He rolled his eyes as he shook his head and he ignored her.
Daphne looked outraged as she stormed off but not before she yelled at him. As she did she grinned brightly and flipped her hair behind her shoulder.
"Your going to regret this Aidennn! Like you can do any better than you me as if. Besides I think that girl you fancy so much, you know the mud-blood? She wouldn't want you."She said his name emphasizing it at the end and she giggled a moment as if she was insane it was more of a cackle. She looked pointedly at Hermione then and she smirked. As she did this she just shook her head in mock anger, truth was she was having fun with this and the scandal it would cause. She just looked back at him.
"Like changing your name is going to change your spots,I wonder what your Father would say if he knew what you were doing,Especially after your mother..."Draco stood up then and glared at her. As he did this he didn't dare look in Hermione's direction now as he said as calmly as he could despite the anger fueled inside of him.
"Daphne, I never want to as much as hear your name again, as for who I care about or don't it really isn't any of your damned business. I am not like Lucius and never will be despite your pathetic attempts to try and get me in your bed you ignorant slag. I know that you should never say that vile and very nasty word again in my presence.Now if you would be so kind as to get the bloody hell out of here I have a paper to write. Oh and you did get something right in that rant, yes my Father is a piece of crap and I know that he got what he deserved in the end. I made sure of it myself. As for changing my name well you see I am ashamed of being who I was because it was all a lie you see , you know I'm not like the rest of my crazy family and never truly have been.
But then again, you know if you would get your head out of that ass of yours sometime and see the world for what it truly is and not be so damn.. Well I should say a bigoted little bitch but then again I am a gentleman so I will just say that you need to go away and leave me alone you stupid cow. Oh and by the way Daphne,you may think you know me,you may think that getting my temper up is going to what exactly make me fall in your arms?
The day that happens I will have had to be subjected to a Dementors kiss because you see my dear,I am not desperate and I sure as hell am not going to lower myself for scum like you, and you can take that message back to all of those who talk behind my back as well."
As Draco finished his reply he sat down and went back to typing as if he wasn't disturbed in the first place. He tried to calm himself as he looked up and it shocked him. He saw her approaching him and for a moment he grew stone still.
He took in the look of agitation on her face now and saw that she was giving him a curious look. Her bushy hair was tied back into a bun now and a few tendrils fell down her shoulders which were almost bare in the fact she wore a spaghetti strapped t shirt and silver jeans. He hadn't noticed of course at first but as she approached he saw her shirt was green. She was wearing his colors and he wondered why she would do that. He noticed that also she was biting her lip as if she was deciding on something.
the pictures are a nice effect though i wish we could use pictures on our roleplay for Black Halliwell Malfoy Zabini Manor *sighs* 
I've never seen Dracula as i don't have that channel but The Tudors is a 4 Season show that was aired on BBC One and BBC Two by Showtime the makers of The Tudors 
You can watch it on Tubeplus if you type in The Tudors tubeplus it'll give you a link to the site so you can watch it 