Post by Alexa Raven on Jun 8, 2012 11:29:03 GMT -5
Hermione drank the hot chocolate the warmth giving her comfort as she tried to calm herself. She closed her eyes a moment as Draco caressed her hair. She felt herself wanting to give in to the pleasure of having him so close to her.
She wanted to tell him that she loved him but she wasn't worthy of being his wife. She knew now that she had no right to string his heart along for all this time.
Suddenly she got up and for a moment she began to pace back and forth thinking and wondering what she should do. She knew Draco was watching her. She just for a moment tried to keep calm as she knew that he should never forgive her, That she had broken their vows not him.
She stopped a moment as she looked at the wall and it seemed that she was taking in the intricate fracture of cracks on the stones surface. She knew she had hurt him and that if she was in his place she might never forgive what she had done, In fact she knew that for a decade now she had thought he had cheated on her, Thought that he had broken his vows to her and the sanctity of their marriage.
Hermione's eyes opened wide as she realized she was an adulteress and she had just pretty much flung her affair right in her own husbands face, That she had been unfaithful to her love, To the man who still despite everything she had done wanted her.
She shook her head as a memory of what had happened just two hours before invaded her brain as she and Reid were talking in the classroom and she placed a hand to her mouth as she thought about the way she had just angry signed the papers. How she had lost her temper signed the papers and had sex with Reid right there to celebrate her independence.
Hermione just for a moment couldn't understand her feelings. She wondered if she was insane. She couldn't even look at Draco for the moment. She wondered what he would see if he had looked further in the memory,and a gasp of pain fell from her lips.
She felt arms hold her as her knees began to buckle. She began to cry sobbing hard and laying her head on his chest now. She listened to her husbands heart beat and tried to calm down. She knew she had to make a choice and it was going to be difficult because she did love Draco but also she had Reid's love for her there in front of her.
Someone would get hurt and badly and she would hurt because she caused that person pain. She didn't know what to do about it. She needed some time to think. She felt a great need to escape Draco's arms at that moment as she felt the desire his touch always gave her entering her body, surrounding her heart with the love he had for her.
She knew that if she looked at him now, He would see the confusion,he would know she was undecided.
Draco watched her carefully as she swayed he wrapped his arms around her. He knew she was thinking very hard as she always paced when faced with a big problem. He knew she was feeling like she had betrayed him because she did.
He was honest with himself she had broken their vows but he could forgive her because he knew she had believed he had first. They had been apart for so long. She had taken a lover and he didn't know how to accept that except to ask that she stop seeing Reid Garwin. He knew that Hermione would feel guilty of course if she didn't then she wasn't Hermione Granger Malfoy and a Gryffindor. He caressed her hair as she began to sob in his arms and he tried to console her.
He was silent as he watched the way the torch light cast a glow on her hair,He knew that he shouldn't feel that she looked so exquisite as she cried but he knew that this woman, his wife was always beautiful in his eyes. She always would be.
He tried to relax as she stiffened a moment as if she realized he was holding her finally maybe? He wondered what she was thinking in that brain of hers.
His answer to that unspoken question came a moment later when Hermione pulled away from him slowly and he noticed she couldn't look at him,He noticed that her hands were shaking as well now and that she took his hand a moment in hers. As she did this he saw her eyes a moment saw how they were red rimmed from her tears, He saw that they looked empty and full of pain.
"Draco"
Hermione said his name her voice broke with the sadness that was sweeping and filling her heart as he heard her voice he placed a hand on her cheek and looked at her. He for a moment just stared into her eyes and she stared back.
"There's something you should know before .. Before we.. "
Hermione closed her eyes a moment as she just leaned into his touch and she felt her heart hurt further when he kissed her forehead gently. She knew she had to tell him and if he told her to leave she would it would be easier if he didn't fight to keep her. She was a adulteress a right whore for what she had done to him and she knew she would never forgive herself for cheating on him.
She knew that all the years apart had changed her and even if they got back together she would have to tell him and she knew that it would hurt him knowing what had happened. She knew that even that very same day she had slept with her husband and Reid and hadn't cared. She wondered what kind of person she was that she had done so.
She wondered for a moment if he knew if he could see on her face, she saw concern in his eyes now and he whispered so softly gently it broke through her musings for the moment. She saw the confusion and concerned expression saw the way his eyebrows raised as she tried to speak but couldn't for a moment.
"What is it? You can tell me anything and I'll understand I promise. Whatever it is we can work it out together I love you Hermione."
Draco told her gently in a whisper. He didn't want to frighten her but he was dreading whatever she was about to tell him. He saw the look of fear hit her a moment and he knew that was not a good sign.
He saw her flush knew she was battling inside to speak to tell him something that would change his life,how he knew it he didn't really know but he knew Hermione and if the brave Gryffindor Princess was fearful then it was something major.
"Draco, I did something I shouldn't have, Right before I came in here I. I thought we were over and Reid was comforting me and I slept.. I screwed him, I am such a whore you should hate me I'm a terrible person. Don't even look at me. I can't do this I have to go"
Draco was silent a moment then he flicked his wand and the door opened and he nodded. It took all his strength not to yell at her at the moment. He knew it would do no good. He sighed as he went back to his desk and sat down.
"I'll have the papers written up tomorrow since it's what you want Hermione, I do know I want you to be happy and I can't seem to be the man to make you happy so what would you like to do with the children since we can't keep them apart now that they know?, besides I think that you should get to know our son cause your a good mum."
He took out a parchment and a quick quotes pen and looked at her level as he tapped his wand and the quill hovered over the paper. Hermione felt like she was slapped in the face as he seemed to be so cold and calm about what she had told him.
He thought that Reid made her happy? Yes he did but he wasn't the man she loved with her heart and soul. She just turned and walked away unable to speak. But before she did she saw the ring, His wedding ring flung in the corner and picked it up. She took a calming breath and walked to the desk and placed it on the desk on top of the parchment.
"Goodbye then love, and by the way this morning meant more to me than you'll ever know,As for the kids we will discuss that sometime soon after we both sit them down and talk about this. I know that I wanted.. Draco I'm sorry if that means anything to you."
She went to step away and he grabbed her wrist. As he did he looked into her eyes and replied.
What do you want me to do Draco?"
" Nothing you don't want to Hermione, I don't want to force you into my life and make you miserable. I mean haven't we had enough of that over the years now?"
Draco asked her as he was getting angry and he released her wrist. He just tried to take a calming breath and keep his anger in check.
"How in the hell do you know what I want?"
Hermione asked him as she raised her voice and there was anger now,She was angry that he could take it so calmly that he wasn't getting angry and he was giving up.
"I don't,Hermione that's why I'm asking you!"
Draco shouted as she glared at him.
" I'm so sorry for yelling,it's just you know I feel like a damn yoyo"
He said as she was crying a little softer now. He looked at her.
"I want us to work this out more than anything. There is nothing else I desire in this world more. Marry me Hermione all over again,give our kids a real home with their real parents who love each other.
Give me one more chance and if I screw it up this time,I'll never bother you again I promise"
Draco said tears rolling down his face. Hermione took a calming breath and looked at him. She leaned in kissing him a moment then she went to unbuttoning his shirt. He stopped her hands a moment and looked into her eyes.
" It's difficult for me even to say this but we need to wait. We are emotionally upset and I'd be taking advantage of that so we wait, If you still want me... You have to decide who you want,Who you truly want if it's me or him, if it's him.
They are my children and I want to be a part of their lives regardless of your decision, I also want to be in your life, Look inside your heart and decide because this is the last time I'm going to put either of us through this, You want me I'm in it for the rest of my life,"
Draco told her as he saw her smile a moment. "Thank You" She stood up and kissed his cheek gently a moment. She knew she needed time to think and she hugged him a moment.
Draco knew she needed this time. That as much as they loved each other there was another person in the equation now and that she needed to be fair. He knew she would be and he would abide by it if it wasn't him only to see her happy. She meant that much to him.
She wanted to tell him that she loved him but she wasn't worthy of being his wife. She knew now that she had no right to string his heart along for all this time.
Suddenly she got up and for a moment she began to pace back and forth thinking and wondering what she should do. She knew Draco was watching her. She just for a moment tried to keep calm as she knew that he should never forgive her, That she had broken their vows not him.
She stopped a moment as she looked at the wall and it seemed that she was taking in the intricate fracture of cracks on the stones surface. She knew she had hurt him and that if she was in his place she might never forgive what she had done, In fact she knew that for a decade now she had thought he had cheated on her, Thought that he had broken his vows to her and the sanctity of their marriage.
Hermione's eyes opened wide as she realized she was an adulteress and she had just pretty much flung her affair right in her own husbands face, That she had been unfaithful to her love, To the man who still despite everything she had done wanted her.
She shook her head as a memory of what had happened just two hours before invaded her brain as she and Reid were talking in the classroom and she placed a hand to her mouth as she thought about the way she had just angry signed the papers. How she had lost her temper signed the papers and had sex with Reid right there to celebrate her independence.
Hermione just for a moment couldn't understand her feelings. She wondered if she was insane. She couldn't even look at Draco for the moment. She wondered what he would see if he had looked further in the memory,and a gasp of pain fell from her lips.
She felt arms hold her as her knees began to buckle. She began to cry sobbing hard and laying her head on his chest now. She listened to her husbands heart beat and tried to calm down. She knew she had to make a choice and it was going to be difficult because she did love Draco but also she had Reid's love for her there in front of her.
Someone would get hurt and badly and she would hurt because she caused that person pain. She didn't know what to do about it. She needed some time to think. She felt a great need to escape Draco's arms at that moment as she felt the desire his touch always gave her entering her body, surrounding her heart with the love he had for her.
She knew that if she looked at him now, He would see the confusion,he would know she was undecided.
Draco watched her carefully as she swayed he wrapped his arms around her. He knew she was thinking very hard as she always paced when faced with a big problem. He knew she was feeling like she had betrayed him because she did.
He was honest with himself she had broken their vows but he could forgive her because he knew she had believed he had first. They had been apart for so long. She had taken a lover and he didn't know how to accept that except to ask that she stop seeing Reid Garwin. He knew that Hermione would feel guilty of course if she didn't then she wasn't Hermione Granger Malfoy and a Gryffindor. He caressed her hair as she began to sob in his arms and he tried to console her.
He was silent as he watched the way the torch light cast a glow on her hair,He knew that he shouldn't feel that she looked so exquisite as she cried but he knew that this woman, his wife was always beautiful in his eyes. She always would be.
He tried to relax as she stiffened a moment as if she realized he was holding her finally maybe? He wondered what she was thinking in that brain of hers.
His answer to that unspoken question came a moment later when Hermione pulled away from him slowly and he noticed she couldn't look at him,He noticed that her hands were shaking as well now and that she took his hand a moment in hers. As she did this he saw her eyes a moment saw how they were red rimmed from her tears, He saw that they looked empty and full of pain.
"Draco"
Hermione said his name her voice broke with the sadness that was sweeping and filling her heart as he heard her voice he placed a hand on her cheek and looked at her. He for a moment just stared into her eyes and she stared back.
"There's something you should know before .. Before we.. "
Hermione closed her eyes a moment as she just leaned into his touch and she felt her heart hurt further when he kissed her forehead gently. She knew she had to tell him and if he told her to leave she would it would be easier if he didn't fight to keep her. She was a adulteress a right whore for what she had done to him and she knew she would never forgive herself for cheating on him.
She knew that all the years apart had changed her and even if they got back together she would have to tell him and she knew that it would hurt him knowing what had happened. She knew that even that very same day she had slept with her husband and Reid and hadn't cared. She wondered what kind of person she was that she had done so.
She wondered for a moment if he knew if he could see on her face, she saw concern in his eyes now and he whispered so softly gently it broke through her musings for the moment. She saw the confusion and concerned expression saw the way his eyebrows raised as she tried to speak but couldn't for a moment.
"What is it? You can tell me anything and I'll understand I promise. Whatever it is we can work it out together I love you Hermione."
Draco told her gently in a whisper. He didn't want to frighten her but he was dreading whatever she was about to tell him. He saw the look of fear hit her a moment and he knew that was not a good sign.
He saw her flush knew she was battling inside to speak to tell him something that would change his life,how he knew it he didn't really know but he knew Hermione and if the brave Gryffindor Princess was fearful then it was something major.
"Draco, I did something I shouldn't have, Right before I came in here I. I thought we were over and Reid was comforting me and I slept.. I screwed him, I am such a whore you should hate me I'm a terrible person. Don't even look at me. I can't do this I have to go"
Draco was silent a moment then he flicked his wand and the door opened and he nodded. It took all his strength not to yell at her at the moment. He knew it would do no good. He sighed as he went back to his desk and sat down.
"I'll have the papers written up tomorrow since it's what you want Hermione, I do know I want you to be happy and I can't seem to be the man to make you happy so what would you like to do with the children since we can't keep them apart now that they know?, besides I think that you should get to know our son cause your a good mum."
He took out a parchment and a quick quotes pen and looked at her level as he tapped his wand and the quill hovered over the paper. Hermione felt like she was slapped in the face as he seemed to be so cold and calm about what she had told him.
He thought that Reid made her happy? Yes he did but he wasn't the man she loved with her heart and soul. She just turned and walked away unable to speak. But before she did she saw the ring, His wedding ring flung in the corner and picked it up. She took a calming breath and walked to the desk and placed it on the desk on top of the parchment.
"Goodbye then love, and by the way this morning meant more to me than you'll ever know,As for the kids we will discuss that sometime soon after we both sit them down and talk about this. I know that I wanted.. Draco I'm sorry if that means anything to you."
She went to step away and he grabbed her wrist. As he did he looked into her eyes and replied.
What do you want me to do Draco?"
" Nothing you don't want to Hermione, I don't want to force you into my life and make you miserable. I mean haven't we had enough of that over the years now?"
Draco asked her as he was getting angry and he released her wrist. He just tried to take a calming breath and keep his anger in check.
"How in the hell do you know what I want?"
Hermione asked him as she raised her voice and there was anger now,She was angry that he could take it so calmly that he wasn't getting angry and he was giving up.
"I don't,Hermione that's why I'm asking you!"
Draco shouted as she glared at him.
" I'm so sorry for yelling,it's just you know I feel like a damn yoyo"
He said as she was crying a little softer now. He looked at her.
"I want us to work this out more than anything. There is nothing else I desire in this world more. Marry me Hermione all over again,give our kids a real home with their real parents who love each other.
Give me one more chance and if I screw it up this time,I'll never bother you again I promise"
Draco said tears rolling down his face. Hermione took a calming breath and looked at him. She leaned in kissing him a moment then she went to unbuttoning his shirt. He stopped her hands a moment and looked into her eyes.
" It's difficult for me even to say this but we need to wait. We are emotionally upset and I'd be taking advantage of that so we wait, If you still want me... You have to decide who you want,Who you truly want if it's me or him, if it's him.
They are my children and I want to be a part of their lives regardless of your decision, I also want to be in your life, Look inside your heart and decide because this is the last time I'm going to put either of us through this, You want me I'm in it for the rest of my life,"
Draco told her as he saw her smile a moment. "Thank You" She stood up and kissed his cheek gently a moment. She knew she needed time to think and she hugged him a moment.
Draco knew she needed this time. That as much as they loved each other there was another person in the equation now and that she needed to be fair. He knew she would be and he would abide by it if it wasn't him only to see her happy. She meant that much to him.